she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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