Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
