I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
