I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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