just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
