Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
