lets start a swedish sibling band together
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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