Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
