i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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