One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
