hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
