in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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