yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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