I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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