shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
