It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize