I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
babies were throwing up all over the place
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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