Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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