Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
