idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
