What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
