Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

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(678): View more from Georgia

Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

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(914): View more from New York

I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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(207): View more from Maine

She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "

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(972): View more from Texas

I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

(214): View more from Texas

Does it taste like semen?

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(416): View more from Toronto

DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?

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(443): View more from Maryland

I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.

(410): View more from Maryland

Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.

(443): View more from Maryland

Deal.

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