College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
