Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later

(410): View more from Maryland

I knew I liked you

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.

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(818): View more from California

I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex

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(661): View more from California

I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it

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(716): View more from New York

i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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(315): View more from New York

Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.

(1-315): View more from New York

That would explain the cannon.

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(727): View more from Florida

My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.

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