Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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