carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
