so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
