It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
