what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
