Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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