69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
