shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
