I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
