Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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