I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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