dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
