Moan for me like Helen Keller
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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