Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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