my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize