How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
