Quick, to the slutcave!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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