I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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