you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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