Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
