You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
