then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
