David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
