i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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