I wish I could teleport
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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