my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
