and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
