Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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