I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
