she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
