i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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