My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize