Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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