If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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