i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
