A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize