I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
