this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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