yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
