it wasn't lemon gatorade
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
