My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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