Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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