i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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